Clear-cut opinions on things most of us take for granted.

Testing... Testing... 1, 2, 3

Perspective, August, 2001

A few weeks ago, I was having myself a night out on the town, casually partaking of a few beers, and chatting it up with some old and dear (but mostly old) friends. In the middle of discussing something benign, the friend to whom I was devoting my aural attention (while my visual attention was devoted to hottie cruising) suddenly segued into a new topic by chirping, "Well, Jack, you're certainly one who likes to champion unpopular causes. Why don't you write something telling people why they should have the right to NOT know their HIV status?"

I thought that made for a fine topic for a couple of beer bottle philosophers to debate between belches, but I didn't see his as a perspective I would promote. I mean, after all, it's kind of stupid anyway, considering there is no law that makes it imperative that you as a public citizen must take an HIV test on any kind of timetable... or even one time for that matter. I just brushed the whole silly idea off. Besides... since when are my causes "unpopular"? He's thinking of someone else. Of this I am certain.

As luck would have it, about a week later I received an e-mail from a Public Health worker in the Pacific Northwest asking me if I could urge people to start going back to the STD clinics. Apparently there is quite the outbreak of Syphilis going on as of late. I've heard it's big again in San Fran, Seattle and NYC. It's also been keeping the clinics busy in Phoenix for the past 2 years. And let's face it... with all the transients in and out of this city, Phoenix is something of a petri dish for STD's. It stands to reason Syph is a burgeoning problem in many other metro areas.

And, to add insult to injury, I had a little STD scare of my own. Nothing serious... just a little NSU (non-specific urethritis). But still... everything comes in threes. And so it was decidedly the time to write about getting tested.

To be fair, my barroom friend's concern was mainly over protection of a person's privacy, since some states have adopted public disclosure policies in regards to the HIV-Positive. Personally, I think such legislation is unfair and can open the door to far worse. HIV-Positive people could very easily be lumped into the same category as sex offenders, especially now that Illinois and a few other states consider transmitting HIV knowingly to another to be a crime.

You're not going to like me for saying this, but we only have ourselves to blame.

All along, there have been some of us who just could not or would not employ the use of condoms. Our reasons are varied and personal. Even during the High-Hype years of the AIDS crisis, we made our decisions and accepted the consequences should they befall us. Naturally, because of the fear and social stigma surrounding HIV and AIDS many Positive men didn't discuss their HIV status and/or lied about it. This was unfortunate, primarily because the very tactic that created panic throughout society didn't stop Poz men from having sex, it just pushed many of them into the closet about their status. Nothing good came of it.

Also since the beginning have been those who have avoided going for HIV tests, often again for personal reasons. I was one of those men once. I started out on the compulsory 6-month schedule, but after about three tests I started putting the tests off. Three years here, a year and a half there... I was pretty bad about getting tested. When I finally went in for a test after a few years I was nervous. Very nervous. Piss in my pants nervous. For starters, I knew they would ask me when I was last tested and where, and I knew I couldn't remember exactly. I knew they would ask me whether I use condoms and how often, and I knew I wouldn't have the answer they wanted to hear. And of course, I knew they would ask me about how many partners I had screwed and somewhat intimate details about my sex life, and I knew they might be shocked. I went in, knowing in my gut I would most likely be leaving as a prisoner of the Health Department.

Needless to say, all went better than I had expected. They didn't cast judgment on me or give me long-winded, politically correct, silence=death lectures. They stuck this dauber in my mouth, waited about 60 seconds, and then dismissed me with a genuine smile and the caveat that I would return for my results in two weeks.

Two agonizingly long weeks... during which I made the resolution that if the offer of sex should by some fluke happen my way I would decline until I knew the results of that test. It came back negative and I went back to screwing hot guys rawstyle and spasming deep in their well-fucked little butts. Ah, the pleasure of it all!

And then I got gonorrhea. Ick. Ouch! That burning sensation and putrid-smelling discharge gave me pause to think about what I was doing. I decided that venereal disease was just an occupational hazard of being Bareback Jack, and since the remedy was cheap and quick, I'd rather continue as before and be prepared to pay a visit to my friends at the clinic when things just didn't seem right.

There are some good rules of thumb to follow if you're a barebacker:
  • Know the signs and symptoms of various STD's
  • ASK your partner(s) first. Don't expect honesty in all cases.
  • When an unusual symptom appears, especially around the groin or ass, check the internet and see a doctor or your local STD clinic.
  • If you have or think you have an STD, refrain from having sexual encounters until you have been treated and cured of the STD(s).
  • If someone exhibits symptoms of an STD, it is wisest to postpone your "date" until he is cleared up.
  • Remember: most STD's take about a week to appear, and last for about a week or two. Some, like herpes are contagious only when active. Others, like gonorrhea or syphilis, are contagious at times when no symptoms are present.

It could be argued that better knowledge and more adherence to condom use worldwide could have brought a great number of sexually communicable diseases to their end, including HIV. While that makes a wonderful pipe-dream argument, the reality is that condoms are only a small part of the equation. Certainly, they might not even have been all that necessary had we who bareback been a little more honest/careful/thoughtful with our partners back then. After all, the way to contain a contageous disease is by not giving it to someone who doesn't already have it. Right?

I could also argue that the focus of the medical professionals has been spent too heavily on the ubiquitous condom and less on personal responsibility. Right now, because of such programming, people view us as the reason HIV is not dormant. That is only partially true. However, you and I have the ability and the power to contain HIV and other social diseases by using the heads atop our shoulders instead of relying on the one in our pants to make all the decisions.

Here is a list of practices I would recommend:
  • Discuss HIV status with your sex mates before getting naked, and try to avoid pairing with someone of the opposite sero-status or one who is "unsure", especially if you are going to bottom.
  • Remember that there are plenty of willing partners on each side of the HIV fence for everybody's tastes. If you are HIV-Positive, YOU have the larger burden of responsibility to play with other HIV-Positive partners.
  • The excuse of "...Well, if he doesn't ask, I don't have to tell him" or "...he must not care" doesn't wash. Make no assumptions, especially if they're only to get you off the hook.
  • If you are not feeling well, or if you have a strange symptom in progress, don't have sex until you've discovered whether or not it is contageous. Other people don't need to share your STD, cold, flu, etc. with you. Most don't want to.
  • Learn the differences between hemorrhoids and venereal warts.
  • Remember that STD's often travel together. The appearance of one symptom is sometimes the tip of the iceberg. See your doctor or a clinic.
  • Treat others in bed with the same respect as you yourself would expect to receive.
  • Time is on your side. If you can't do him this week, there's always next week. If not, move on. It is no great loss to miss having sex with one man when there are hundreds more around the bend.
  • Honesty IS the best policy. Do not lie about your status to anyone you plan on having sex with, ever.
 I'm not going to be a nazi about STD testing, but I will strongly urge everyone who barebacks to get into that habit. Why? Because PUBLIC HEALTH IS EVERYONE'S CONCERN. If you pick up an STD and ignore it, the least you are doing is inconveniencing the next person you have sex with. And the next. And so on. The worst you might be doing is undermining their health by passing on diseases, some of which have no cure. And there is no excuse for that. Remember that saying: "What you don't know can't hurt you". How absolutely wrong that saying is! Take syphilis for instance. You might someday find yourself with a few open sores. You watch. You wait. And eventually the symptoms disappear. Ignore it and it goes away. Problem solved. Right?

Nope.

Once the initial symptoms disappear, syphilis begins invading your body, targeting your brain and your central nervous system. Left untreated, syphillus will cause madness, blindness and eventual death (remember Idi Amin?). The open sores are a warning. Heed the warning. Get tested, and soon. That's the only way to ensure the riddance of a GV-STD (Garden Variety STD). Also keep in mind that the sores that appear during the initial outbreak are open and can admit HIV and other viruses and bacterium directly into the bloodstream.

I don't personally believe the axiom that you are the sum total of every person you have ever slept with. That's another of the Condom Nazis' crocks of shit designed to scare you into behaving their way. However, you ARE responsible to every person you touch, especially when there are contagious substances involved. If you have a disease, you are responsible for containing it.

Maybe I am preaching to the choir here, but somehow I doubt it. Most non-barebackers see us as a threat to public health. They call us irresponsible and mental deficients because we haven't bowed to the great edict of the condom nazis. We are blamed for the continuation of HIV infections, and to a degree I can't argue with that. However, I feel as though you, as visitors to this site, are probably the most well-armed and knowledgeable barebackers out there. You know what it takes to have hot, unprotected sex and still remain healthy. Teach your friends and fuckbuddies these things. While others may look upon barebacking as just an excuse to throw all caution and sense to the wind (and some men may only be barebacking because they have been taught to believe this erroneous notion), we are the ones keeping the perspective.

Sure it's hot to just fuck like there were no tomorrow, but it is tomorrow we have to think of.

Oh, and just for the record, next time you hear someone spouting off that it's the gay community that is responsible for the existence and perseverence of HIV over the last 20 years, you might remind them that it's the hetero population that hasn't done a very good job at containing VD throughout the last twenty centuries.

So as not to stray too far from the topic, I'll say this: I think everyone should make a point of knowing what their HIV status is. The more knowledge you have, the better off you are in making important decisions in your life. What you don't know CAN hurt you and those around you. If it's fear that is holding you back, conquor that fear. Your life may depend on it. The longer you go without getting tested, the harder it is to go back for a test. It's simple, and sometimes perfectly painless [ask your test administrator if they have the oral tests available if needles bother you]. And remember, the results can't hurt you... they can actually help you, regardless of the outcome.

It is my sincere hope that you enjoy a very fulfilling, quality sex life without either condoms or critters!

Keep it bare, but keep it smart!

Bareback Jack

CHECK THE FOLLOWING LINKS FOR INFORMATION ON COMMON STD'S: