Is there a "Bareback Community"?

As I get older, I find myself becoming more and more aware of my place in the world. And with the creation of each new fragment of society, as well as my own pursuit of interests, the number of communities I belong to grows. But as the number of communities overall grows, the size of each new community diminishes. Case in point: the bareback community. Without arguing whether or not the segment of society that engages in same-gender unprotected sex actually defines a community, its place within the greater society is rather small. It is a splinter off of a much larger sub-culture.

The primary biological division amongst the class of animal known as homo sapiens is male and female. The second-largest biological division which affects mankind on a somewhat equal level is the division between heterosexual and homosexual. And whereas the heterosexual portion of society appears to be comfortable with a general class of identification, our homosexual culture seems hell-bent on dividing itself into a myriad of special interest groups. GLBT ("Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender") is replacing the formerly all-inclusive terms "Gay", or "homosexual". Within GLBT, we also have the subdivisions of bears, the leather community (further subdivided into leather/levi, s&m, b&d, fetish, and kink), transgender (subdivided into transsexuals, transvestites, crossdressers, drag queens and kings), butch, femme, twinks, daddies, gym rats, HIV-Negative and HIV+Positive, and now safe-sexers and barebackers. Almost all of these subsets demand labels for identification or recognition. Apparently it isn't enough just to be "gay" anymore.

Still, as we continually find ways to divide the pie of human sexuality into smaller and smaller pieces, we do not actually remove ourselves from the whole of society. No one community is an island unto itself. We cannot create laws that are exclusive to our newly declared "communities", for even if we could, they would still have a profound effect on human society overall.

It's this ripple effect I believe many of us have forgotten in our zeal to find some sort of validation through subdivision.

Regardless of which sub-"community" you identify with, you are still a part of, and answerable to, the greater community. As barebackers, we are not separate from the larger gay community, nor are we as members of the gay community separate from the world community. If we focus too strongly on our individualism, we forget that such individualism is truly not unique. All we are doing is glorifying certain characteristics, sometimes to the point of being ridiculous.

Where I live, there really isn't a gay "community" as much as there is a large number of gay people without focus coexisting within the same geographical area. Many have tried to instill a sense of focus and brotherhood amongst our local gay aggregate, but their efforts have proved futile time and again. And perhaps the reason there is no focus present is because this gay aggregate has become so self-absorbed that it has forgotten it is also a part of a much greater community. Our local society has adopted an unfortunate "every man for himself" attitude, and depreciated the more important sense of community.

With community comes responsibility, however it is rather easy to forget one's responsibility to the greater community when the smaller community puts too much emphasis on its individuality. As it is with the so-called gay "community" of Phoenix, Arizona, so it is within the barebacking community. The emphasis has been for barebackers these past few years (as our sub-culture has developed) on our sexually political individuality, and many who promote this individuality have been content to ignore our responsibility to not only the greater gay community worldwide, but to the entire community of man. It is time we stop thinking of ourselves as unique and start thinking of ourselves as part of this much larger community.

Society is more or less run by its communities. And one of the things that helps make both a community and the society it supports great is its responsible citizens. Some, like myself, appoint themselves to be a voice to their community in hopes that others will follow in order to make both their community and society stronger, better, and more universally appreciated. While people like myself have a responsibility to our community, those who do not possess the drive to take on such self-appointed positions also have a responsibility. No man is without responsibility within a society.

Our foremost responsibility is to contain HIV just as if we were using condoms. Even though we may not use condoms, we are not absolved of the responsibility in preventing the spread of HIV. We have the responsibility of more open and honest communication with our sex partners. And, all fantasy aside, we should not be treating the whole HIV issue as a non-issue. We also still have the responsibility of treating each other with respect, conducting ourselves in the same manner as we ultimately expect others to treat us. It doesn't matter what wounds you have suffered over the years. Each new acquaintance you make should have the benefit of being treated respectfully, not as the victim of someone else's old baggage... or yours for that matter. How will you move on in your life if you keep handing future acquaintances the garbage from the past?

And then there's honesty. It's part of respect, and it's part of personal integrity. While a lie might get you what you want at that particualr moment, its overall effect on who you are and how others will treat you down the line may not be what you desire. And some lies carry with them the potential to do incredible damage to the greater society. While a lie about your HIV status might get you laid by some hunk you feel an immediate attraction to, that same lie can have the effect of disrupting many, many lives down the line. Do you really want to be responsible for that?

If the only thing that is important to you is getting immediate gratification, no matter what the cost to someone else, then keep it in your pants until your priorities change. Greed is ugly, no matter in which arena it might be found.

Our society is currently in a downward spiral brought about by hedonism, narcissism, selfishness, and greed. And, sad to say, our barebacking community is right in the middle of this malady. The remedy for these problems truly begins with the individual. Putting others before yourself is primary in turning the tide. Integrity, honesty, and gentlemanly behavior are key ingredients toward making a better society, starting within our own community. As we redevelop our values on an individual basis, we'll only help make our community stronger. And as that change takes effect, it will in turn bleed into the next larger community to which we belong, and the next. Regardless of which community or communities you identify with, redefining your values for the better will not have a negative effect on the whole.

In an effort to encourage such change within our own community, I have introduced a new aspect to barebackjack.com: The Model Citizen Hall of Fame. It is a roster of A-list men who act with integrity within our community... a virtual pat on the back for good behavior. The men whose names appear on this list will all be nominated by their peers and stand as models of good behavior and positive influence within our community. I feel it is time to reward such men for their contributions and the good examples they set. Please check out the information, and feel free to nominate your fuckbuddies (single men only) who meet the criteria.

Together, as a community, we have strength. Let us positively use that power to improve our world instead of selfishly contributing on an individual level to its downfall.

Jack