Dear Jack,
I have an embarresing question for you... I had my first
Bottom barebacking experience about 2 weeks ago. It was with
a guy I have been seeing for about three months, and we decided
it would be a nice way to share our trust in each other. So
even though I am typically a top, we decided that we would both
take the others loads in our asses as a sign of our love for each
other and our committment to be monogomous to each other...
This is where the problem starts, since about two days after we did
this, my ass has been burning really bad. I mean like burning 24
hours a day. At first I thought it was hemeroids because I have
never had them and it was the first time I had ever been a bottom.
But upon inspection, it isnt hemeroids, its like a puffy red rash all
up and down the crack of my ass, on my asshole itself, and it extends
all the way to just under my balls. I have tried every kind of
cream in the world to alieve this but to no avail.
Has my lover given me something? He is negative and so am I. We were just
tested for life insurance like three weeks before, and everything
came back fine. Has he perhaps given me something else? I really
dont want to go to the dr. if this is something that usually happens.
He has been really pushing me this last week to bottom again, its seems
that he loved my tight unused asshole, but I keep telling him no
because it is very painfully to even spread my ass cheeks apart, so
I keep insisting on being the top. I know he is beginning to wonder
why I dont want to please him, but I am afraid to say anything to him.
Your help would be most appreciated.
Kip
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Hey Kip,
Before I launch into anything here, I have to remind you I am not
a doctor. You would be best to have your condition looked at by your
doctor or a dermatologist.
While I am mystified to a degree at the problem you have (which,
for all intents and purposes sounds like diaper rash), there are a few
things that concerned me about your letter. First of all, while I respect
your feelings about the guy you have been dating, you both decided to
swap loads after seeing each other for only 3 months. In and of itself
there is nothing wrong with that, however, your decision was partly
based on HIV test results you both got back at the same time. Since the
incubation period of HIV is considered in many cases to be approximately
6 months, there is a
remote possibility of his (or your) being infected without the virus
showing up at this time.
Additionally, blood drawn for HIV tests is not, to my knowledge, tested
for any other type of disease. Usually, a separate vial of blood will be
drawn for routine STD testing in addition to the blood drawn for the
HIV test. Of course, there is also that newfangled oral test that swabs
the inner lining of your mouth to detect HIV antibodies. They say it works.
So for anyone who is needle-shy, that's a new way of getting tested.
Still, you may have picked up some sort of microbe from Mr. Wonderful.
And then again, maybe not. I can't say. Your condition is NOT normal following
a first-time fuck. Perhaps you had a skin allergy to the lube? Maybe you
have a protein allergy? A doctor will be able to tell you. And if he is
worth his salt, he'll diagnose the problem and treat it without judgement.
Be prepared, though. You may end up with a bit of a lecture if you tell him
how you think you came about this problem.
Now, on another score, the two of you decided to fuck without condoms
and jizz up each other's butts because "we decided
it would be a nice way to share our trust in each other". So why are you reluctant
to tell him what's going on with your asscrack? I'm sure he wants to climb
in there and do it all over again, so your avoidance is confusing him. You
trusted each other enough to fuck without condoms. I think he'll understand
if you tell him you can't spread your cheeks until this clears up.
Otherwise, I have to wonder how wonderful Mr. Wonderful is.
Talk to him! The most important part of a relationship is communication.
(and I bet you thought it was sex). The sooner you guys start discussing
REAL dilemmas (like your burning buttcheeks) as opposed to hypothetical ones
(like the "what-ifs" about getting HIV), the sooner
you'll establish a good pattern of trusworthy behavior.
Now, go call the doctor, talk to your man, and buy a bottle of champagne so you can
drink a toast your upcoming versatility once your butt heals up.
Good luck!
~Bareback Jack.
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