Dear Jack,
The reason I'm writing you is, I cannot find any barebacker tops in my area. I
would love to experience raw sweaty fucking from a slightly sadistic top man who
loves to fuck a tight ass. The problem is I don't know where these men are. My
interests have evolved beyond vanilla sex and I am looking to expand my sexual
horizions, B&D,S&M and spanking.
How do I meet someone to play with? I'm not ugly, I'm not fat either(yet I'm not
a stick eitherLOL). I am however black.
I went to a leather bar here in Pittsburgh with a lesbian friend of mine. She
went upstairs and I went downstairs. The upstairs is a dance club and the
downstairs is a leatherbar. This was my first time going to this place and I was
looking foward to it! I went in, everyone seemed to be very hush hush. I sat at
the bar made eye contact with a few people. Even tried to start a conversation
with a few people. They were polite I guess, maybe civil is the word I'm looking
for. I just got the feeling they didn't want me there. Maybe it was my
imagination, I was the only black person there. I was the only person of color
in the whole place. Pittsburgh doesn't have a very visual black gay community.
Is it different in other cities or is Pittsburgh some kind of bizzaro town?. Or
are leather communities predominatly white and catering to white people only?
~AB
To find leather gear online, check out the links on the Style page.
Also check out the Hanky Code and find the proper hanky and pocket to signal your needs.
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Hi AB,
In all honesty, I have never been to Pittsburgh so
I don't know what it's like. However, Pittsburgh hovers
geographically near the infamous Mason-Dixon Line (for
those not in the know, that was the dividing line between
the North and South during America's Civil War). Still,
you're on the northern side of that line, and therefore
in Yankee country, so I don't think there are any
race issues that could be explained away by environment.
Even so, I have never known race to be an issue
within the leather community ~ at least not any more
so than in any other sub-community of the gay community.
I have known many men of color into leather: black,
latin, asian... and from what I have seen there is
wide acceptance of all men of every ethnicity, shape,
appearance, size, and sexual perversion. Personally, I
think men of color look the best in black leather!
However, fitting in with the leather community is
a little different than fitting in with the trendy
queer community. Labels aren't nearly as important
(though certain leather crafters are better known
because of their quality and inventory). People in
the leather community don't often toss about names
like ROB or Mr. S the way trendy fags toss about
the Calvin Klein or Tommy Hilfiger names. And if they
do, well it's obvious they are from West Hollywood...
I don't know what you expected when you wandered
into a leather bar for the first time. If you were
expecting everyone to recognize you as the debutante you
are and flock to you, that ain't gonna happen. Remember, you were in rather unfamiliar
territory. If you appeared uncomfortable, nervous, or lost,
it's likely that was the reason you didn't garner a
lot of attention. The world of leathermen can sometimes
be rather closed to outsiders, especially in some cities
where the leather crowd is small. This is possibly due
to the fact that leathermen are often subjected to
stares, giggles, and finger-pointing from the
less-educated queerboys who just don't get it.
I would suggest you see if you can find a friend who
is either already in the leather community or is as fascinated
with leathersex as you are, and start going to Pittsburgh's
leather hangouts together. You'll feel less awkward or alone
with a friend in tow, and you may get up enough nerve to
approach a hot daddy on your own.
Also, investing in a little leather wear is a good idea if
you are serious about getting into the scene. You didn't mention
how you were dressed, and depending on the clothes you wore you
might have made yourself look even more out of place. If you have
a nice bubble butt, get yourself fitted into a pair of chaps
(expect to pay $200.00 and up) and a standard
jockstrap ($10.00). Then go back and see if you get a little more attention.
It never hurts to be honest with people you meet and tell them
that you're new to the scene. Lots of men are willing to help
show a novice the ropes (and the cuffs, and the restraints...). Just be careful about what
you wear, since leather accessories usually have some kind of
significance, and the wrong items will tell people a story you
may not intend them to get.
Here's a short list of leather items and what they generally mean:
- HANKIES:
In the right back pocket they signal "bottom"
; in the left back pocket they signal "top". A dark
blue hanky in your right pocket says "FUCK ME"!
- ARM BANDS:
Again, on the right arm says "Bottom" and
on the left arm, "Top". Studs, chrome accents, full chrome and such are
for decoration and don't mean anything in and of themselves.
- HARNESSES:
Cool to wear (especially in warm weather). No particular
significance. Can be worn by top or bottom.
- COLLARS:
Signify "boy", usually already in the care of a Master
or Daddy. A padlock on the collar definitely indicates you belong to
someone else.
- GAUNTLETS (Wrist Cuffs):
Mostly for show. Always wear in pairs.
- CHAPS:
Worn primarily to showcase the goods, be it your ass or your
basket. Can be worn over (tight) jeans, jockstraps, leather jocks, and
occasionally over cutoffs that are long enough to be covered by the
legs of the chaps. Worn by tops and bottoms. (FYI: Most chaps do not
have pockets, so you need to find someplace to put your ID, cash and keys).
- VESTS:
Again, no particular significance. Many vests have pockets,
which makes them practical when worn with chaps.
- CAPS:
Different caps signify different things to some men. A biker's
cap is more often worn by tops than bottoms, whereas a baseball-style leather
cap is more a "boy" or bottom thing. Cloth caps worn with leather are
usually a no-no unless the cap is black in color. Any baseball-style cap worn
backwards is an instant signal that you are ready to suck dick.
In addition, if you find leather a bit out of range pricewise, masculine
sleazewear also works. Try a black or white tank top or T-shirt with a pair of
ratty old jeans with holes in all the right places. Or a harness and some slut
jeans. Uniforms also work well, and they can be military or civilian uniforms
like a gas station attendant's uni or coveralls (a Taco Bell uniform isn't what
I mean, though). And now there's latex/rubber clothing. If you've got a nicely
muscled physique, rubber accents and highlights your body quite nicely by reflecting
light off of your muscles and curves.
Remember, the leather scene is about masculinity. Colognes and deodorants are
avoided so the natural scents of a man can be enjoyed (the exception being leather body oil which
imparts a very masculine leather scent). Clothing should be manly
and playful in the sense of allowing freedom of access to your nipples, armpits,
crotch and/or ass. Leather boots and work boots go a lot farther with leathermen
than sneakers or topsiders. Next time you go, dress the part, enter with an air of
masculine confidence, and by all means present yourself as though you know the 411.
Now, as for getting some hot raw cock up your ass... that's a different story. Even I,
Bareback Jack, one of the world's best-known barebackers, has a hard time finding a
piece of ass (let alone a GOOD piece of ass). I attribute that to location. It isn't
easy to get laid in some towns, especially if people know you only want it bareback. Pittsburgh
may or may not be as "bizarro" a town as Phoenix, but then Phoenix is a Mormon town,
so "bizarro" would be a polite way of describing the community here. Scanning
the ads on this site
should show you that there are a lot more barebackers in the largest US cities, coastal
cities, and Dallas of all places. Still, if you place an ad on this or any other
bareback site, you should hopefully get a few nibbles in your area.
One last word of caution... if you decide that chaps and a jockstrap sound like your
new leather bar attire, check with the bars in Pittsburgh to find out if there are
any public decency laws that could be broken by going out with a "full moon".
In the Southwest states including Southern California it is illegal to show the crack
of your ass in public, so a plain jockstrap without some kind of 1" strap up the back
is verboten, and any local bar that allows its customers to parade around bareass in a jock can
be fined or lose their license to sell alcohol.
~Bareback Jack.
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