Dear Jack,
I'm a Skin and so is my partner ish. We both like S&M, Bondage and other stuff.
The problem is that we are stuck.
We are both HIV-. I'm a Bottom and He's Definitely a Top. I'm into more than one
on one as is he but he won't pull anyone else as he is terrified that I might get
HIV. He's driving me mad.....!!!!!!
I understand where he is coming from but he wont even listen about arranging meetings
or parties with other HIV- guys.
He barebacks with me and he has with other guys but he wont let any one else near me!
Help?
~skin
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Dear Skin,
I know it probably is going to pain you to hear what I have to say, but I think you have a
fine, concerned, and loving man there. I receive a lot of letters from neg/poz couples in which
the neg partner is concerned and upset about meeting their sero-incompatible lover's sexual
needs for fear of getting infected. Most often, the poz lover isn't the one showing the concern.
Now here you are, both negative, and your partner (bless his soul) wants to protect you and
keep you negative. And you're bitching about it?!?
I give up!
If it weren't for the fact he's a top, I'd say "Move over, buddy. I'll take him."
While I don't condemn bareback sex for the single man (assuming he knows the risks involved
and is willing to accept them), to me the true beauty of being together in a relationship
includes the ability to sperm up your boyfriend's butthole (okay, not the most romantic way
of putting it), for it is sharing EVERYTHING of yourself at that moment. What frosts my ass
are those panty-waist lovers who STILL use condoms, even when they are monogamous. Is there
no hope?
Anyway, I applaud your lover for being protective of both of you. And while I understand
that you might like to give the whole western world the opportunity to juice inside your
ass, keep in mind that it is often a top mentality that the sweet pucker of his mate is
primarily his to enjoy to the fullest degree. Anything else is a privilege he affords to
others. But if he wants to protect you (and thereby protect himself), KUDOS!
Be glad for what you have instead of regretful of what you don't. Sounds like he's a
special guy to me...
~Bareback Jack.
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