Dear Jack,
if anyone would know, You would Sir. i am have been in an emotionally
monogamous relationship with a positive Top for the past six years. Our
version of safer sex has been for us to use Nonoxynol - 9, for Him to pull
out just before cumming, and for me to go to the shower and try and push out
anything left behind. On several occasions, He has cum inside me. Our use
of condoms has been less than 50 % of the time. On two separate occasions,
the Kimono Condom has broken, with Him delivering everything He had deep
into my soul. His viral load ranges from over 500 thousand to undetectable.
To top all of this, i have been permitted to have sex with other men who
have also been positive and on occasion, they have provided me with their
Essence as well. Despite this description, i do not consider myself a
bugchasser. In fact i worry about it all the time. i am a dyed-in-the-wool
bottom who deeply, deeply enjoys the experience of semen being gifted to me.
i leap at the occasional opportunity to embrace a neg Top as that intense
shudder runs through His body and flickers in His eyes. And as for oral
sex, i have had the fortune of coating my belly with oceans of juice from
anyone willing to provide.
Yet every 3 months, my tests come back negative. There is talk of a gene
that makes 1 % of the population immune to HIV infection. In Your travels
and circles Sir, have You ever known any other boy (man) who has had the
experience i have just described? Or is sero conversion harder than i
thought.
Respectfully yours,
~boy in heat
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Dear Boy,
Your question is certainly not an easy one to answer. I am glad you admire my advice-giving
abilities, however you are putting a lot of faith in me to answer a question that medical
science has no certain answer for, let alone the all-knowing Jack.
Yes, I have heard rumor that there might be a genetic reason for people dodging the HIV
bullet, and I suppose it's based on the same idea which surrounds other viruses and
"carriers" of those viruses. The difference being that the people who are carriers
usually have the virus detectable in them, but show no outward signs of succumbing to
the virus (at least to my understanding, anyway). In your situation, you claim that even
though you have received more than one "accidental" dose of bugsperm, your
test results are still coming back negative. This would mean one of two things to me:
either you have a definite immunity to the virus, and for some reason the virus does not
or cannot attack your blood cells, or you are having a delayed reaction. While I would like
to believe it is the former situation and not the latter, there is no scientific proof I
know of that concretely suggests this possibility.
On the other hand, the virus has been known to take years to develop in certain individuals.
Again, a scientific mystery. Some people seem prone to almost immediate infection while
others can take a decade to "convert". Perhaps your immune system is stronger
than the average person. That, diet, rest, and other factors (like not suppressing your
system with drugs or alcohol) may play into this. Everyone is different. While I have an
overactive immune system that treats all sorts of normal airborne things as invaders, I rarely
ever get colds or the flu. But an ex-lover of mine who had no allergies would manage to
come down with more than his share of these yearly afflictions.
Another ex of mine was convinced that my overactive immune system was a signal that I was
indeed positive (but he was a selfish bastard who wished nothing more than to have me
co-miserate with him in his HIV maladies...).
At any rate, all this is simply conjecture, and possibly medical testing will one day
divulge some of the potential reasons why some people appear to be more resistant to
HIV than others. Personally, I feel that HIV is not as easy to acquire as the CDC and
others would have us believe. If it was, there would be a tremendous number of HIV cases
showing up in the heterosexual population as well, the way straight men go around
knocking up women they are not married to.
That brings us to the part about your relationship. You tell me that you live in fear of
seroconverting, yet you allow your poz husband, and his poz buddies, to pump your ass
full of infected cream whether it be by accident or by design. You might want to delve
into the dark part of your soul to find out why you allow these things to happen when they
clearly bring you mental anguish. You are the one at greatest risk in this situation. You
claim you are not a "bugchaser", and I believe you. You seem to be a "victim
of circumstance wannabe" though. If it happens, it happens... que sera sera. While there's nothing
intrinsically wrong in that mentality, the fact that it causes you a lot of worry tells me
you are at odds with yourself.
Most of us negative men enjoy our negative status. As a top, I know I am at my least
vulnerable to HIV infection, although the possibility still exists that my status could
change. I have decided not to spend a lot of my energy worrying about possible outcomes
simply because I know how I like to fuck, and I am committed to taking responsibility for
my pleasure-bringing actions. If you're going to bottom bareback for HIV positive men, I
would suggest you try to reconcile yourself with the probable (not just possible) outcome
of HIV infection. Otherwise, you might wish to reserve that kind of sexplay for those men
who can prove their sero status to you (at least to your satisfaction).
One last note (and you knew this had to come sooner or later in my reply): About your lover
and your relationship... He must be aware of your concern over HIV infection, yet he only
fucks you half the time with condoms, and has gone ahead and blown his wad in your unprotected
ass on more than one occasion. You may be his "boy" or his "slave" or
"sextoy", however in my opinion that does not give him license to endanger your health for his
own gratification unless you specifically have made the agreement to allow him to
do so. Even so, I would think an HIV-positive man topping an HIV-negative man would have
enough concern to warrant a little more respect for your future. Admittedly, I am not
aware of the dynamics of your relationship, nor of the discussions the two of you have had
over the past 6 years. However, on the surface, it appears as though he is more concerned
about using you as a means to get off than as a life partner. I don't find that to be very
responsible behavior.
Using nonoxynol-9 lube and rushing to the bathroom afterwards to squeeze out anything he
"might have left behind" isn't what I would deem a practical way to prevent HIV
infection (and that kinda kills whatever romantic post-orgasmic afterglow you two might
share).
Best of luck to you, boy.
~Bareback Jack.
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