"Is Butt-Dogging Kosher?"

Dear Jack, I think your column is probably the only place I could ask such a question, but I read about a kinky act involving hot dogs that sounds like a real turn-on, but I'm concerned that there might be some hazards with it. A bottom boy sticks 2 or 3 hotdogs up his ass, then the top fucks him. The inserted hot dogs are said to feel like other cocks in the bottom's ass rubbing against the top's cock while he's fucking, and said to be a major turn-on for both. My question is this - Is there any danger of the hot dogs getting pushed in too deep and not coming out after the fun is done? Even if they didn't come out immediately, I would think they would eventually come out the next time nature calls. As a lover of just about any type of assplay, I think this sounds like one hot and kinky way to spice things up, but is it safe? Oscar Meyer Weiner Boy From the land of “You try it first”, here are some odd little wiener recipes found in a 1950’s Oscar Mayer recipe book: APPLE WIENER BEAN BAKE 1 pkg (1 lb) Oscar Mayer Wieners 1 can (1 lb 15 oz) baked beans ½ cup applesauce ¼ cup brown sugar ¼ cup catsup ½ teaspoon salt 1/8 teaspoon pepper Preheat oven to 375. Cut half the wieners into bite-sized pieces, reserving remaining links for garnish. Combine ingredients and pour into a 1-1/2 quart baking dish. Arrange whole wieners on top of casserole. Bake 30 minutes. Makes 5 servings. NOTE: If a less juicy casserole is desired, drain beans before combining with other ingredients. MEXICALI WIENER SUPPER 3 tablespoons butter 3 cups sliced onion 3 large green peppers, sliced 4 tomatoes, sliced 1 pkg (1 lb.) Oscar Mayer Wieners 1 teaspoon salt 1/8 teaspoon pepper 1/8 teaspoon thyme 1 bay leaf 1 cup (4 oz) grated process American Cheese Melt butter in heavy skillet. Add onions and green pepper. Cook until tender, about 15 minutes. Add tomato slices, whole wieners, and seasonings. Sprinkle with grated cheese. Cover and cook 10 minutes. Makes 5 servings. GOLDEN WIENER BAKE 1 pkg. (1 lb) Oscar Mayer Wieners 1 can (13-1/2 oz) pineapple tidbits, drained 1 can (1 lb 2 oz) sweet potatoes ½ cup pineapple juice ¼ cup maple syrup 2 tablespoons butter 1/8 teaspoon salt Preheat oven to 350. Split 5 wieners lengthwise and stuff with pineapple tidbits. Slice remaining wieners into bite-sized pieces. Combine with sliced sweet potatoes and remaining pineapple in 1-1/2 quart casserole. Blend juice, syrup, butter, and salt and cook for 3 minutes. Pour mixture over casserole. Bake for 25 minutes. Remove and arrange stuffed wieners on top. Bake another 1o minutes. Makes 5 servings. WIENER CHEESE SOUP 1 pkg (10 oz) frozen peas 1/2 cup diced celery 2 teaspoons instant minced onion 1/2 pound Oscar Mayer Wieners, cut into bite-size pieces 1 can (11 oz) Cheddar Cheese Soup 1 soup can water Cook peas according to package directions, adding celery and minced onion. Drain. Add wieners, soup and water. Simmer 5 minutes. Makes 4 servings.

Dear Wienerboy, I gotta tell you, I thought I had heard it all until I received your email. And to be "frank" (lol) I haven’t a clue as to who I can ask about the hazards (if any) associated with butt-dogging (or should we call it wienerfucking?). So I asked my friends. And once the laughter died down, most of them expressed the concern that the wieners might disintegrate up your bum. Aside from the mess and inconvenience of having wiener schnitzels in your rectum, there is the very real possibility that crumbled dogs can prove to be troublesome. Normally, the meat should all come out nicely. But if little pieces get caught in recesses of your bowel, the rectal tissue can possibly become inflamed and infected as the meat slowly degrades. That wouldn’t be pretty. My friends felt that the wieners should be tied up inside condoms… so perhaps this is a practical new use for those undesirable little baggies. I guess another possible health concern is with the sodium (salt) and sodium-based nitrites found in hot dogs. When you cook hot dogs, these ingredients leach through the wiener’s skin by way of moisture and fat and collect on the outside, making them tastier. Of course, no matter how hot your ass is, you aren’t going to cook a dog up your butt. Still, salt isn’t a good thing to have in your rectum. In the quest for more information, I searched the web to see what I could learn. Just so you know, nitrites are used in hot dogs as both a colorant and a preservative against botulism, which is why hot dogs can be eaten after being left out for long periods of time without making you sick. Refrigeration has made it possible to use less sodium nitrite for preservation, though it is still used to color dogs. The downside of nitrites is that they are known to be a link (no pun intended) to cancer. People who consume a much higher than average number of hot dogs have been found to develop various cancers, including leukemia, and cancers of the mouth, bladder, stomach, esophagus, and brain. The carcinogens are thought to form during cooking and also with interaction of stomach chemicals, so it is possible that a hot dog shoved up your rear won’t result in cancer of the bowel or prostate. However I cannot guarantee this is the case, especially if you engage in frequent butt-dogging. As you can probably guess, I wasn’t able to find info on any study about the positive or negative health effects of shoving hot dogs up your ass. So, while the risk of acquiring cancer from butt-dogging is probably rather small, as always let common sense prevail. If you want to avoid even the most remote possibility of wiener-derived butt cancer, there are hot dogs on the market that are nitrite- free. They have a brownish tint to them as opposed to that classic rosy color, and they are probably marked as Nitrite- Free on the packaging. Some commercially available nitrite-free dogs include Coleman All Natural Uncured Beef Hot Dogs, Hans’ All Natural Uncured Beef Hot Dogs, and Applegate Farms Beef Hot Dogs. You might find them in the freezer section as opposed to the refrigerated meat dept. as they are more perishable. A local mom & pop company that makes sausages may offer fresh, nitrite-free wieners. You might even find some wieners strung together in natural casings. Boy does that give me ideas!!! Additionally, I would absolutely recommend that you wash any and all hot dogs destined for anal insertion with soap and water to remove any surface sodium and nitrites. Be sure that you rinse each dog well. And for god’s sake don’t use your butt-dogs for food. If they become contaminated with fecal matter, the nitrites won’t prevent the eater from risking hepatitis. When choosing a frankfurter for butt-stuffing, try to make sure it’s as straight as you can get. That will allow it to come out easily. Unlike most dildoes, hot dogs don’t have anything you can grab onto to retrieve them. So a bratwurst or curved sausage should be avoided as the curve could increase the possibility of its getting stuck inside you. Also stay away from spicy meats as the peppers and spices could easily burn your bunghole. It may come as welcome news that Hebrew National Dinner Franks are not only kosher, but they are also some mighty big hot dogs in both length and girth. They make the non-kosher Oscar Mayer wieners look rather puny. They do contain sodium nitrite, however (less than 2%). Still, if size is a selling point, you’re not going to find a better dog for butt-dogging than a Hebrew National Dinner Frank. Plus, they meet all the rabbinical requirements for use by our Jewish friends! As I said, I have not heard of this activity before now. But I gotta tell you, the idea sounds totally hot to me! Your letter makes me want to find some big ol’ nitrite-free wieners and slide ‘em up into my next really hot bottom boy before burying my own bone in him. If you try it, please let me know how you like it! And I shall do the same. Happy Butt-Dogging, ~Bareback Jack.