Dear Jack,
I'm a bareback top whose recent personal life has been freed up from
time-consuming projects and I have once again starting socializing (a
euphemism for seeking out bareback bottoms). However, have noticed
some things in my search about which I'm writing.
First, I should explain that, when I say top, I am a TOTAL top. The
only thing I enjoy up my ass is the occasional tongue, and then, only
sparingly. Also, I have what can only be described as an ass fetish. I
love to shave them, eat them, fuck them, and even stick wonderful things
inside them (usually in that order). Granted, I like to suck dick as
well and pride myself on doing it well but the primary target of my
attention is the glorious pucker.
During two recent parties, I found myself interested in very hot ass
only to find out that each was attached to a fellow top who declared it
off-limits. I'm not necessarily slamming those tops as I would have
reacted the same way if the situation were reversed. My problem is
that, after having gotten quite excited about a hot piece, I'm pulled
back to a frustrating reality--and it's happened at two consecutive
parties.
Second, I was in a 3-way with two bottoms and, in the process of doing
my bit for king and country, I noticed a tension between the two of
them--one that was definitely not sexy. This jealousy became somewhat
distracting as each gave me the idea they were only interested in
getting dick instead of enjoying a three-way with two willing partners.
As I seek out future parties/3-ways, I find myself looking for partners
who are either bottom or versatile but without the single-mindedness as
it relates to getting dick. I don't necessarily mind if others do the
fucking, but I want to be sure those fuckers' asses are available if I'm
interested. I've looked at some of the parties advertised on your site
and it's obvious that such efforts will call for me to be organizing my
own parties ("bottoms only need apply"). I am comfortable with that.
However, am I being realistic in my desire to be the only exclusive top
at the party? And, if so, what matters should I take into consideration
in making plans to pursue these arrangements?
Sincerely,
Top o' the Morning...and Afternoon, Evening, Weekend, and Most Major
Holidays
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Dear Major Holiday,
With all the bottoms out there you're having so much trouble??? Normally I would be blown away, but
I too have encountered such difficulty.
First, there is nothing wrong in being a TOTAL top (despite what the versatile guys say). Many total
bottoms LOVE finding a man who is going to fuck them senseless without expecting to get fucked in return.
However, just as you aren't about to let someone's cock trespass into your forbidden territory,
other total topmen won't give in to your desirous dick either. That's chapter 2 in the rulebook.
One of the ways I attempted to delineate between tops, bottoms, and versatiles at my parties was
to suggest hankies or armbands be worn by the guests...on the right arm if they were bottoms or
the left arm if they were tops. And versatile guys could wear them 'round their necks. (Color
also played into it... white for negative players and colored for positive players). In theory
this worked rather well, but in practice I found the guests just didn't bother with the hankies. But
since where I live people do things exactly counter to the way they are done elsewhere, this hanky
coding might work just fine in any other locale. At least it clears up some of the confusion in the dark, and guys wishing to
"switch" can do so at any time throughout the party.
Sure... host your own party and set your own rules. You might want to invite only versatile and
bottom guys, or you could invite a couple of bottoms to service a group of tops (most bareback
bottoms truly love pulling a train from what I've seen). As long as you know who's who at the
party you might not be as tempted to up-end all the total topmen. Just remember, not everyone
at a bareback party is looking to get fucked. You're not. The same applies to others.
The only problem with inviting a bevy of bottoms to service your cock and your cock alone is that,
while it offers you a smorgaasbord of
butthole to try on, the bottoms who aren't getting royally fucked might start getting bored if they don't have something drilling and
filling their hungry little cunts. You can only expect them to wait on the sidelines for so long, and
realistically, unless you are a super sperm factory, only a blessed few will actually get your
highly desirable cumloads in them...which is the main reason most bottoms attend bareback parties.
Sending a bottom home with a hole that's had a dick up there but not been filled isn't very thoughtful.
And that could foster some resentment. I think it's best to make sure there are a reasonable number
of tops to each bottom or your party could fall apart.
Now... about your 3-way blues: In my vast years of experience, three-ways seem to work best if all
three parties are single. Couples involve themselves in three-ways for a variety of reasons:
one partner is attracted to the third party and the other one goes along for the ride; both
partners like to play with others equally; bringing in a third LOOKS like a way to keep the sex
in their relationship exciting; they need to create drama for some reason no-one will ever fully
understand.
I prefer to try to hook up 3-ways with perfect strangers I meet in the bars, or with a fuck buddy
and some new meat. I try not to get in bed with established couples anymore because of the jealousy factor. Who
needs all the drama? Certainly not me. I know there are some healthy couples out there who don't
have the power struggle or jealousy issue between them, but they are rare. So I generally avoid
couples and stick with fuckbuddies. Less wear and tear on my psyche that way.
To answer your question, I do think you are being a little unrealistic in your expectations at
a sex party. As I said, not everyone there (including yourself) is looking to take it up the ass.
Depending on your area, the kind of guys that make themselves available for bareback parties, and
the host's personal tastes, it is easy to find yourself in the situations you have. I would recommend
hosting your own party and being clear in your party announcement that you, as host, would like to fuck
just about every man that attends. I see nothing wrong in that, since many bottoms who host
parties expect every dick in the room to spend some time pounding them as a condition of attending.
Make sure you admit mostly bottoms and versatile men though.
I would also recommend finding a couple of fuck buddies... possibly another top, a bottom, and/or a
versatile guy with whom you can get some 3-way action going. Then you won't have as many of the
drama issues to contend with. You will also know going in what your fuckbuddy likes, and it will
make it easier to find a third for some hot cum exchanges.
Oh, and make the most of the bottom boys who DO want that endless supply of dick... seems you're
neglecting their needs a bit in your desire to fuck every ass at a party. Give those brave bottom boys all
the soulful pounding you possibly can! I'd recommend spending your energy, your lust and your loads in the
guys that want them instead of focusing on the men who don't. Sometimes it really is more about quality
than absolute quantity.
Good luck, and happy major holidays to you too.
~Bareback Jack.
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